My dearest Ella:

 

Happy Birthday, my darling, and Happy Angel Day.  We love you, we miss you, and we remember you every day.  But today is the day we honor your arrival on earth and your departure to the arms of Jesus.  Today is a special day, because it will always be the day that we were able to hold you, to kiss you, and to be together as a family.  Today is the day that our prayers were answered and our hearts were broken, all in the blink of an eye.  Today is your day.

 

Daddy, Brian and I brought you gifts today to honor your birth and angel day.  We brought a candle, to remind us of the light you brought and the light you send us from above.  The light is bittersweet, because while the light is beautiful and pure, it’s flame must be extinguished at some point in time here on earth, much the same way your life with us was ended much too soon.  We brought two wind chimes—one to leave with you here, and one to keep at home where we wish you were with us.  The music allows us to talk to each other across the distance that separates you from our aching arms.  We chose a pink angel, because every time I see a pink sunset, I believe that that you helped Jesus paint the evening sky for us. We brought you an ornament with one of our favorite pictures, because it shows you safe in the arms of Jesus.  Stay safe and warm my darling, until we can be there to hold you ourselves.  Finally, we brought you flowers and balloons just like we used to send you heaven last September.  The perfectly sweet smell of the lilies will always remind me of your beauty, your grace and your love, and six balloons are in honor of your six hours with us.  They are a gift from earth to heaven from all of us, but especially from your big brother, who wishes he could share his love and his toys with you, but will settle for sending his love and his smile to you today and every day. 

 

We’ve tried to honor you with our hearts and our lives, my darling.  We’ve shared your name and your spirit in so many ways, but the hole in our hearts remains, because that could only be filled with your smile and your touch.  We are left to wonder why your stay with us was so brief, but we know you are happy and at peace beyond our comprehension.  You have sent reminders of yourself to us in so many ways.  Sometimes they are painful, and sometimes they are sweet, but they are always filled with love and belief that we are a family. 

 

Please, please always know that there was never a more wanted or loved little girl in the world.  You were the answer to years of hopes, dreams and prayers.  If our love could have healed you, you would be here with us today, pushing your tiny fingers into your first birthday cake.  Instead, you are healed by the presence and love of Jesus, and we are left to try and understand the pain of your absence in our family.  We selfishly wish you could have come home with us, even though we know you are truly home now.  Forgive us for our selfishness, because it is born of love and longing for the beautiful little girl whose face we long to see and whose hand we wish to hold, both now and forever. 

 

Goodnight, my angel.  Rest peacefully tonight and always, and enjoy your goodnight kisses from Sheila, Mark, Grandma Lorine and Great Grandmas Ella and Clara, and all those that have been sent before you.  Feel our touch and our love through them, until we can hold you and never let you go. Happy Birthday, and Happy Angel Day. 

 

We love you, we miss you, and we remember you every day.  Today is your day.